Women like to stay close to women. Be it our mother, sisters, neighbors, or friends. But how does a woman choose to be with other women? The answer is Instinct! knowing someone’s personality helps you to make a choice whether you want to be with them or not? Do your likings and interests match? Would you laugh with her at her jokes? or would she hear your heart out if you cry? 

There are people with all sorts of emotions. Some are too practical, while some are too emotional.

And that’s where we draw a Venn diagram in our minds and determine which all characteristics match to choose our partners or friends. 

Do only opposites attract?

In my physics class, I learned, that opposites attract. When I grew up I realized it’s not only the magnetic fields but the whole gamut of the human biological matrix. And then I grew up more and realized that even ‘similars’ attract too, maybe even more. Now that I am towards the end of my thirties, I realized the real essence runs around the company of a ‘similar’. Which could be similar sex possessing the highest value from the ven-diagram. Because now we have traveled three or four decades of our lives and I realized our instinct decides who we want to be with. 

So what kind of instinct do we get to feel the connection for somebody? It could be many. It could be something relatable or just like you, it could be something that you would inspire with, or you have never thought that this would ever attract you. 

Let me explain it more.

Relate or feel the same way: There are many times when we meet somebody and we get a feeling that you were talking to yourself. Somebody says something to you which was already in your mind. You both relate to each other in terms of emotions or habits. Emotion could be how you both handle your little one while you are doing work-from-home, where you share the same feeling and challenges, and later on, share tricks and ideas on how well you still sail through it every day. 

You inspire Me: Another occasion when you meet somebody who is not like you, but you get to spend some time together because you both could have been working on some office project together or have met on the next seat of a travel journey. And then when you get to talk and share stories, you discover they are so inspiring. A woman who looks like she would have been just running around her children from the time they wake up to the time they sleep is actually a cyclist who has already started her day at 4 am and rode 70km on her bike. 

And then you tend to believe in yourself, that if she can do then why can’t I. And from next morning you set up your alarm and go for a run or a bike ride or anything which was there in your mind forever but you never really felt that adrenal rush to accomplish it. 

And the third one,

Never thought I would be here: We never know our true potential or what we really desire. When we go shopping, we try pink dresses or some nice bright color by default thinking that this would certainly look good. But until you try that brown dress that is stacked in the bottom of the shelf, you won’t know that even brown can make you exponentially look good.  

In a similar way, when we meet some women whom we think is from another world, you don’t know that you could be one too. She might be looking lovely and presentable even in her forties and carrying that charisma to attract the audience with her jokes and laughter. While you are thinking that you could have avoided those extra calories you ate last night. But she points you out and you crack even a more interesting joke and suddenly the whole paradigm shift happens on you. The entire audience is laughing with you and patting your back. And you both discover that ‘Instinct’. 

That spontaneous bit and discovery may surprise you but in your heart, you know you have found a soulmate and possible friend for life!

But wait…there’s more?

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Do write to me at jain.chesta@gmail.com or drop a comment below.

Your friend,

Chesta Jain

Author

I am a Delhi-ite, now a Gurgaon-ite (India) for more than a decade and a half. I have worked in corporates as a Brand Manager with some well-named companies. But at the peak of my career, I left and turned into a full-time mom.

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